I need my Lady. 422 miles are 421 miles and 5279 and 11 inches too many.

It’s a strange feeling, knowing the day your relationship with the person you love is formally going to end. It’s much like knowing when you’re gonna die. Except you keep on living afterwards, what a shame.

Or maybe not… Like they say in Big Fish:

Knowing when you’re gonna die isn’t all that bad because you know you’ll survive everything else. 

After-credits scenes… always forget they exist.

Wednesdays are the worst days. Not a single Wednesday ever has ever failed to disappoint me.

That AP test was okay…

Whoever invented the modern-day toilet didn’t take erections into account, goddammit.