I was in deep thought today about what I find attractive in a girl. By “deep thought” I meant I pondered it intensely and for a prolonged period of time, not necessarily that it’s a topic that requires deep thought. Anyways, I was in a moment of complete mental stagnation because I couldn’t even begin to describe a single feature I found attractive in someone. With a mind for empiricism I began inspecting my past, seeing what I’ve “liked” in the past and why that might have been. I couldn’t come to much from that either. I mean I’ve only had one real relationship, one that ended not so long ago, and frankly I was perplexed by the fact I couldn’t pinpoint a single thing of what it was that attracted me to that ex-lover. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I can’t find anything attractive about her now that we broke up. On the contrary I very much still admire her and like her personality and everything she ever meant to me, and hopefully will continue to mean to me, despite everything that’s happened.
Continuing in my thoughts I stumbled unto a key factor whilst talking to a friend of mine about the subject. “You know, all these girls at this school and I can’t find an attractive one. It’s like there’s a bunch of them that are beautiful but none of them have that extra something to make them gorgeous.” They emanate an aura of crystal radiance and they are just that, beautiful. But they’re all missing a key factor, I don’t know what it is. But it’s that thing that none of those extremely attractive models have, or any of those actresses or celebrities or what have you. It’s a certain aspect, a connection between every essence of that person’s being that makes them gorgeous, inside and out. This essence just makes them exactly what they are. You stop looking at physical traits because even if they had “flaws” or whatever, the way their essence flows and connects them just overlooks everything else. There’s nothing that is out of place, you fall in love with every part of them. You fall in love with them and not a single individual piece.
I guess this essence is what’s truly important. This glue that binds every lovely, timid, terrible, flawed, and amazing part of the together into a beautiful creature. One that is perfect for everything about them. When you meet a person like this, when you see them for the first time… it’s glorious. You find yourself dazzled. You can contemplate why you feel this way. You could start looking at individual flaws, both physical and emotional, in them to lure yourself away. You could recognize these flaws individually, but when you look at the big picture, when you look at the being, the essence and soul that binds them together, the flaws are gone. They don’t vanish, but they’re not flaws. They become part of the most beautiful creature you have ever beheld. Her essence beautifies them to an extent where you love everything about them. There’s nothing wrong with them. Everything’s right.
I guess that’s what I find attractive in a girl.
That in retrospect is what I loved about my ex. She was insanely jealous to a point where if you looked at just that it would be overwhelming. She was terrible with money and irresponsible but that was gone when you saw the rest of her. She might’ve not been a model, she might’ve had a few physical flaws (nah, not really). But let’s face it. I didn’t notice them. They made her beautiful to me. The way she was, the way she lived, the assembly was perfect. Flaws were nonexistent. Not a one to be found. You take one of those so called “flaws” away and you end up with an ugly person.
I fall in love with people like this. I need someone like this. This is what draws me to a person. Their essence. That thing that no matter how many things could be wrong with them, they make up that beautiful essence, and you need every single ingredient.
That is all.@6 months ago with 4 notes
#personal #beauty #love #introspection #me #thinking #attractive #pretty #essence #soul #thoughts